Our newest player.

We should totally look into trading for Dimitri Young. He embodies all that Rambone stands for: Big Errors, followed by Clutch Hits, followed by an Oxygen Tank. He's like a black Me.

Games 5 & 6 - Score (This guy knows what I'm talking about...)

If we have learned anything from the first six games of the season, it's that we can hit. Like, a lot. After combining for 31 runs in games 3 and 4, Rambone stayed hot with the sticks to the tune of 36 plate-crossings in 5 and 6. Results, though, are the key, and the 'Bone earned a hard-fought, hotly-contested split. In fact, a sweep was nearly a reality, save for a slick patch in left field that caused our outfielder patrolling the area to lose his balance and barely miss a flyball that would have ended the contest in Rambone's favor. We'll decline to mention that as said flyball was mere feet above said outfielder, the eldest (like, by far) statesman on the team made known his desire for the result of the play by giving the kind of sage advice only the savviest of veterans can: "CATCH IT!!!!!". The leftfielder must've have been shocked that "CATCH IT" was an option he had in the scenario of a flyball (or any ball, for that matter) hit in his direction, and that shock no doubt caused him to wet himself and the surrounding area 'neath his feet, causing the slip and subsequent flyball miss referenced above. But, this potentially disheartening turn of events was soon forgotten, as Rambone was able to hang on in the second game of the twi-night doubleheader for victory.

A split against JT Rockets is nothing to sneeze at, especially since we really should have won both games. The sticks have really come around...it's almost a shame that there's a full week before our next contest.

Stats are clickable beneath this sentence:

Games 3 & 4 - Splitsville

Games 3 and 4 were the reason why we Ramboners Rambone. A wounded veteran bravely risking the remainder of a knee joint for the love of the game. A first baseman (joined by his left-fielding cohort) arriving roughly 30 seconds before first pitch having forgotten his glove due to excessive celebration over a Chicago Bulls lottery victory, then recovering to make a sparkling stab in the field to preserve a 15-run lead. Alleged "replacement" players playing like anything but, as if they'd really been Ramboning their entire lives without really realizing it. A right-centerfielder wisely ignoring his third base coach's pleas to hold at third, when plating that all-important 4th run was all he desired. A left-centerfielder nearly blowing out his knee attempting to slide into a triple. A rightfielder who COMPLETELY biffed a popfly, leading to a good natured "business-giving" on the bench. Yes...it truly was a Rambone night.


Game 3 started slowly for the Rambone 11, with only 2 runs coming across for the BabyShit Green and Urine Yellow in inning 1. Inning 2, however, featured all 11 men taking their cuts at the dish, with 7 of those lucky fellows reaching the promised land. From there, the valiant heroes refused to look back, eventually tallying 22 scores to the opposition's 7.

Then in Game 4 we did what we always did and refused to score, falling 18-9.

Good effort in a winning cause despite less than ideal conditions, boys.

Click below for your stat updates (now fortified with team totals!)



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Games 1 and 2 (for real) - Seen This Before

So, games 1 & 2 had a familiar feel...unfortunately not a good one. The performances reminded of Rambone Years 1 & 2 (and last fall, which we all denied ever happened)...not enough offense, defense that wasn't horrible but not spectacular, an opponent who seemed to be able to drop hits exactly where we weren't, baserunning mistakes, etc.

I could be that guy that says, "NO EXCUSES, WE JUST WEREN'T GOOD ENOUGH DAMMIT." But, this is 2008 and I'm blogging, so excuses are what it's all about. Here's a few off the top of my head:

1. Post-Title Hangover

Yeah, it may be tough to get motivated this season.

2. Rust

Some of us have been playing, most of us not. Mother Nature wreaked havoc on our preseason practice schedule...I know in the infield, all of us were taking our first ground balls of the season. And it showed.

3. Injury

DJ's got a bum knee that limits him to swinging a bat and pitching, and little else. JPo took a hard shot off the upper leg that bruised and swelled immediately. Somebody had to pull something.

4. Butts Forgot the Trophy

Dumbass.

So, losing 16-5 and 12-2 wasn't very fun. Hangin' out with yer chums and gettin' back on the ol' ball diamond was. The results weren't what we wanted, but it was good to get back out there. Spittin' seeds, smokin' smokes, and grabbin' ass.

Stat update (Click and it'll get bigger):

Games 1 and 2...

...have been "rained" out. If by "rain" you mean "wind". Yes, it's "winding" cats and dogs out there as I gaze upon a lovely sunset and faintly hear the public address of the Kane County Cougars while Len Kasper and Bob Brenly discuss Jason Marquis' shortcomings. Naturally, everyone on Earth gets to play but the unfortunate Batavia Rec Division softball squads fated to clash in Rambone season-opening action.

Naturally, the game would've started with Chad (we won the toss and elected to hit) poking a double in his debut as a leadoff hitter (Murda is currently on a plane to jolly ol' England). DJ would've followed with a screamer nearly beheading the unlucky 3rd base coach that was roughly 300 feet foul, after which he'd ground one just out of reach of a diving shortstop to pick up a quick RBI and a 1-0 Rambone lead. Eschewing a courtesy runner ("shut up, pinhead, I can run"), DJ will nearly be caught on the bases as Scotty ropes what should've been a triple into the gap in left field to put two men in scoring position for Sharlow. Sharlow deposits the first pitch he sees somewhere in the corn field beyond the left field fence (we dispatch Pete to find what's left of the ball, never to hear from him again) and just like that, 4-0 in favor of the 'Bone. I'd step up to the plate, handsome, fearless, and evidently virile and quickly ground out to the 2nd baseman for out number one. Butts would drop a little ducksnort just beyond the first sacker's reach to start the rally again. Special guest star and Original Rambone Member Tom would beat out a slow roller to the third baseman, putting men on 1st and 2nd for the freshly-engaged Evan, who would prove his worth to his fiancee by legging out 2-RBI double to give Rambone a 6-0 lead (too bad said fiancee would miss it all as she was busy reading "101 Wedding Don'ts!!!" in "Drunk & Weird Brides Today"). Butts' teacher buddy would move Evan to third with a wisely strategic grounder to the second baseman, putting Evan on 3rd with two out. Roper would be intentionally walked, because everyone's afraid of Roper for some reason. With men on 1st and 3rd and two out, Mike would ground back to the pitcher, but be called out for passing both Roper and Evan on the basepaths attempting to complete the first inside-the-infield-inside-the-park home run. So, after 1/2 inning, Rambone 6 - Queerbaits 0.

Repeat until slaughter rule scoring limit is achieved. Repeat for game 2. Grabass throughout the land.

So, opening night is now Thursday, May 15 at 7:00 at the launching pad. Unless the grass is too green or the dirt is too dry and they are forced to postpone yet again. You can't hide from Rambone forever, Batavia Park District Softball Recreational Division.

Win one for the ripper (of farts).

Sorry, but fart jokes are definitely in style down here in the OKC.

Best of luck to you bloody wankers who actually get to play softball tomorrow night. If it doesn't rain (and I am praying to Jeebus that it does), make sure you all kick some ass Rambone-Style. Here is my projected opening day lineup.


1. K-Murda (3b)
2. Scotty (2b)
3. DJ (pitching and zingers)
4. Sharlow (LCF and dingers)
5. Dain (ss)
6. AJ (1b, via satellite)
7. Jpo (RF, Shit Talk)
8. Butters (RCF)
9. Evan (LF, Baconators)
10. Mike (C, 1b, RF, RCF, Voodoo Priest)
11. Roper (C, Grand Theft Auto)
12. Penny (poop)
13. Pete Bloome (more poop)

RAMBONE!

DJ's Wisdom Nugget: I

"Hey, let me see your permission slip to be out tonight."

Spread the word. Rambone is Pro-Rain.

I have done my best to spread the word that Dain created this-here site to update everyone on the comings and goings of team Rambone. That being said, there are still some folks out there who are just plain unaware of the beauty of the Maize and Jungle Green. I'm thinking mostly here of Sharlow and Pete Forigen. If any of you happen across either of these two (I'm assuming you can find Sharlow at the local GNC, or perhaps on the HGH chatroom @ Yahoo.com) let them know, or have them contact Dain or myself so we can find out how many days of rain to pray for at the beginning of the season. Also, report all Gomez sightings, simply because they are becoming more and more like UFOs: Probably real, but not much evidence supporting them.